 The crossroad & the girl 2008-07-14 ~ 10:40 p.m.  Here I am. At a crossroad. In about a month I'll be 48 years old. I have been unemployed since just before Christmas. The coffers are empty. The cupboards are nearly bare. Do I continue to seek opportunities in retail? I feel sick every time I think about it. Should I do it anyway? Or do I seek my passion? Find my way to something closer to doing the things that actually inspire me... Things that make me feel as though I am giving back to the Universe. A call from my friend Bella helped resolve some of the static in my head. Got to love the Russian princess... Online job.. school to be a nurse or perhaps a dental hygenist.. finish my work to become a Doula. And then there is the girl... She is hours away now. Living with her ex as a roommate. Her ex who wants very much to be not so much an ex. The girl makes time for me.. sends texts through the day... calls on her way home from work. Calls on the weekend. Sometimes we talk for hours. I miss her. Telling her that is sometimes met with silence. I am unsure if that is because she doesn't want to think about it or because she is settled into a comfortable routine there and missing me isn't part of that equation. My heart just can't let go of the possibility. We fit. Holding hands or spooning... we fit. I miss her company.. I miss the way she smells... I miss her touch.. the sound of her breath as she sleeps... She said we'd have time... I won't get to see her until Labor Day. And then I won't get to spend any time with her. She'll be here with her roommate. And her rents. Anyone interested in sponsoring me to live in Boston? Safe Travels & Bright Blessings
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