 Of possibilites 2006-02-05 ~ 10:08 a.m.  When I spoke with you on the phone again.. you were full of words & alcohol. The words were not really new from your sober self ~ Just more words... words without filters. Something about the wee hours of the morning... I can't help but think of a time when I would have charmed you into acting on them. As much for the chase ~ which I love ~ as the possibility of being with you. I didn't. I won't. The last few days have been ~ odd. Offers that I would not explore. Ten years ago... maybe. Not now. Then... there is you. As much as I want to be somewhere safe and explore the possibilities.... you have responsibilities. Don't misunderstand ~ I could bed you & send you home. I would share your name with no one. I'm just not sure that you could do that. Considering the situation... that would cost us both too much. You, more than I. Some part of me wants very much to see if I could talk you into the things I hear running through your thoughts ~ just to see if I could. I am feeling very alone these days. I know that plays into this. All of it. I feel unworthy of what I want... to be with someone again. I miss touch. And then there is my internal dialogue. I know that dialogue is more of the reason I don't explore this possibility. This will pass. You will slip away into some other part of the tapestry. I won't have to resolve the internal noise with the desire. Whatever happens... I do love you. Safe Travels... Be well...
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