Of now & a different place or time
2005-11-15 ~ 8:07 p.m.

Things have been difficult lately. That would account for a certain amount of the quiet on my part.

I hate that finances are such a huge factor in my exsistance. I feel so much like a failure. I am struggling. I know.. I know... Like so many people. I can't tell anyone elses story... just my own.

I am behind on nearly everything right now. It's frustrating. A decent set of floaties or an adopt a bill program would be helpful.

We may not be doing Christmas this year. I know... again... so many others... I am not alone. It just hurts. I don't want things for me. I want to be able to give Lillybean and Daniel things. In a better place and time, I could give things to the people I care about. (Again.. I know that gifting can be done any time... Traditions, however, have their own place and time)

My sadness threatens to overwhelm me most days now.

I have thought very seriously about trying to sell my hair..... It would have to be premium monies. My hair hasn't been cut since '72 (yes.. dearhearts... since before most of the people I know were born.)

Why, you may ask, have I not cut my hair in 33 years. And a fine question that is. Some of the reasons are spiritual in nature. Another is because I actually like my hair.

And so things roll......

Safe Travels