 Of A kiss & a promise 2005-09-27 ~ 4:06 a.m.  It's 4am ish in the world I live in. I have been awake for about an hour. What a difference an hour makes.... That's not entirely true in my case. I knew what was on this path. I knew it long before I got to this spot. That doesn't make it easier. Telling the person that I love with all that I am, to stay where she is and work things out... talking until she listens... reassuring her that it's the right thing to do.... a fine moment in some aspects. Doing what's right instead of what I want to do. I know that she needs to focus on what ever is salvageable there. I know that whatever I may feel or want can't be a factor in that. I can say all the right things to her. Somehow, my world just got smaller again. I didn't let myself go swimming in the possibility. Not like I could have. I knew. I can be her friend. I can listen and be there for her ~ if that's what she finally decides is the right thing for now. The possibility that talking to me at all is not helping her sort things out there is very real. I need to let her make that call. To say I don't feel a bit lost and certainly sad right now would be a lie. I do feel those things. It will take a couple of days to get my bearings again. I told her before that it was up to her if she wanted to stay in touch with me. I tend to disrupt her life in many respects. I leave that to her again. Baby, I'll be fine. Whatever you need to do. If silence is the only way to let you focus on what you have not yet finished... then let there be silence. If that's what you choose, you'll have to find me though, if you change your mind later.
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