 Things & Such 2003-11-23 ~ 10:52 a.m.  hi It's been a while since I wrote a 'real' entry. I've been pondering my life. Things are difficult. I sat in the driveway yesterday ~ I was supposed to be leaving for work ~ asking myself if I thought I was positively affecting anything at work & if I could even go to work. I don't work because I am paid some ridiculous sum. I am not. I am struggling without Daniel working. Work is more about the accomplishments. And positively affecting things. If I think about it much... I am drowning. Add to this mix... that I have a cold that won't bloom or give up. It makes this state so much better. I am supposed to go to dinner with friends tonight. I can't afford to go... someone else is covering my dinner. Perhaps it's the time of year. Perhaps it's something else. I don't know. Daniel asked me last night if I wanted to go to Phoenix for Christmas. I can't afford to go. My sister, whom I haven't talked to or seen in forever, and my terribly unreliable oldest daughter offered to pay for us to come out. Even though I have a vacation scheduled, I can't guarantee that I'll actually get it. If I am needed at work 'because of the needs of the business'... I have to be there. I think I'll email Lisa and see if she'll just get Daniel out there for the holiday. He said he wasn't going to leave me here 'alone' for Chistmas with Lilly. If he is being somehow noble and feels that I can't handle a week without his help... he needs to go visit. I'll talk to him more about it today. For those who celebrate - Happy Thanksgiving... Safe travels
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