 Birthday 43 2003-08-17 ~ 10:55 a.m.  Birthday 43. I have mixed emotions today. I don't mind getting older. (It's much better than the alternative... at least most days it is.) A freind called to ask me to have dinner to "celebrate" and I do.. and don't want to go. I said yes.. but somehow it adds to the lonliness... or maybe it's just the abyss peering back at me... I want to hear happy birthday and such... but I guess in some respects I expect not to. When I was growing up in my grandmothers home, every year she had a party for me... it was never really big.. at least not that I remember. There was always a thunderstorm... the lights always went out. As I got older, it was cool. I just waited ~ where ever I was ~ I knew that there would be a storm. I think there have only been 3 birthdays that didn't have hellacious storms whereever I was. Even in Northern California... where they rarely have thunder & lightning storms. Lilly is dancing and singing around the house today ~ "aprise party... I want cake... aprise party... I want my cake..." ~ and "happy happy birthday... happy happy birthday..." She's funny. Hollie stopped by yesterday. *smile* with a wonderful Rain faerie. She (the faerie not Hollie) has rain chimes. I've been thinking about how to build a place for her near the front door. I can't make permanent changes where I am... but I can make a temporary home for her here. I'll work on that today, too. I am cleaning, doing laundry and such today. If I don't lose my focus, I am clearing the kitchen/dining area out today. It has a really bad case of flat surface disease. Well.. I may wander back today and share whatever adventures offer themselves up. Or not. Safe Travels ~ Bright Blessings
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